Definitely not inspired by that time I cut off the tip of my finger and texted my mum to ask what to do.
Charlie: Do you have a fire extinguisher?
Adam: Why are you texting me to ask that?
Charlie: Take a wild guess.
Adam: Are you serious? Call the fire department!
Charlie: An exclamation point? My my. So dramatic.
Adam: Even I can be dramatic when there’s fire involved.
Charlie: It’s only a small fire.
Adam: I don’t think you understand how fire works. You need to stop texting me and put it out.
Charlie: What do you think I’m trying to do?
Adam: Texting for help when there’s a fire is ridiculous. Call 000. Now.
Charlie: No need to bother the firefighters. I’m sure I can deal with this myself.
Adam: No, you can’t.
Charlie: I can. I set it alight in a bin. It’s just burning for longer than I expected.
Adam: You set the fire?
Charlie: One of Lea’s hand-carved gnomes.
Adam: You could just tell her you don’t like them.
Charlie: No! She thinks it’s the neighbour who always destroys them. I can’t tell her now. She’ll figure out that I’m responsible and you can’t just tell something like that to a girl with a chainsaw.
Adam: I thought her chainsaw broke down?
Adam: I can’t believe I let myself get distracted. PUT OUT THE FIRE.
Charlie: With what?
Adam: Water?
Charlie: How? Carry the fire to the bathroom?
Adam: Where is it?
Charlie: My room.
Adam: You set a fire in your bedroom?
Charlie: As I already said, it’s in a bin. It’s contained. Calm your tits.
Adam: I don’t think I like you telling me to calm my tits.
Charlie: Then stop with the melodrama!
Adam: Can you bucket water onto it?
Charlie: I don’t want to spill it and make my carpet soggy. Maybe it will just go out itself.
Adam: Better a soggy carpet than a house burned to the ground.
Charlie: I can’t believe this thing’s still burning. I knew there was something demonic about it. Nothing would burn this long unless it had been forged in the bowels of hell.
Adam: What’s the bin made of?
Charlie: Metal, obviously. Give me some credit.
Adam: Does it have a lid?
Charlie: Yes.
Adam: Put the lid on. Carefully. Don’t burn yourself.
Charlie: I did it! Fire vanquished! Who needs the fire department?
Adam: Everyone. They’re very important.
Charlie: I know, I know. It’s like saying we don’t need doctors. Speaking of which …
Adam: You burned yourself?
Charlie: Yep.
Adam: I’ll be right there.
So typical of Charlie. How Adam stays sane is beyond me. Looking forward to this one – we’ve been waiting awhile now.
I know, it’s been a long time coming! I hope you enjoy it. 😁
(Sorry about the late reply – I didn’t get a notification when you commented for some reason!)