Standard reminder that you shouldn’t read Date Night unless you’ve finished Breaking News or you’re going to get smacked in the face with spoilers.
Table of Contents:
- Frustrated
- Very Educational
- Dingle
- Pinecone
- Genetic Material
- Sex Energy
- Thinking Out Loud
- Damp Is Sexy
- Evidence Of Vampirism
- Snackster
- A Lick In The Dark
- Armpit
- Stay Vigilant
- No Sense of Shame (FINAL CHAPTER)
CHAPTER ELEVEN: A Lick In The Dark
After I took a short power nap, we sat around in the lounge room with Adam’s snackstravaganza, all of us yawning sleepily and offering up half-hearted ideas for bringing Ted and Paulette down.
“This would have been a lot easier if Paulette had just killed Ted,” I said, covering my face with my hand as I yawned yet again. “I like murder cases better than this ‘exposing frauds’ thing. This is hard.”
“Agreed,” said Topher. “About this being hard. Not the bit about wishing someone had been murdered.”
“I don’t think I said I wished for it.” At least not aloud.
“Your tone said a lot.” Will narrowed his eyes at me suspiciously.
“It’s not like I enjoy finding dead bodies. The last time it happened it was awful.”
“Maybe you shouldn’t have killed him, then,” Will replied.
“I didn’t!”
“Exactly,” said Adam. He was sitting on the armchair next to me, our legs touching, but with the snack distraction (disnacktion?) I managed to keep my mind north of his pants area. “Charlie didn’t officially kill him. Now, back to the scammers.”
I wanted to say something about the ‘officially’ he’d squeezed in there, but the conversation moved on too quickly. Plus I was a little busy with the bruschetta Adam was handing me, and by the time I realised I was being insulted it was too late.
“It feels mean to expose their personal life, don’t you think?” Will said.
“It would if they weren’t making all their money from faking that their relationship is perfect,” Topher said. “And after reading that fucking booklet they made us fill out earlier, I’m fairly certain they’re soulless perverts, so I don’t feel all that guilty.”
I swallowed my mouthful. “We could go to them privately if it bothers you, Will. Tell them we’ll expose them unless they give everyone a refund and stop selling tickets to their scams.”
Will thought for a moment. “That works, I guess.”
“And if they refuse we can devastate them publicly. Perfect. We’re all happy.”
Will raised an eyebrow at me. “It’s weird that you’re getting all high and mighty about pretending your relationship is fine when it’s not, Charlie.”
“James kissed Adam first!” I blurted. Yep, my classic party trick whenever things got uncomfortable.
“Charlie isn’t selling tickets to a conference based on the idea that she’s got life figured out,” said Topher. “And even if Charlie and James were terrible together, they’re still friends, which puts them miles ahead of Ted and Paulette.”
I was genuinely touched by my brother defending me. I may have teared up a little, although that was probably just because some bruschetta went down the wrong hole.
“You guys are up late,” came a sleepy woman’s voice from behind us.
“Stacey!” I jumped to my feet like an innocent person with nothing to hide does when they’re startled. “What are you doing up?”
“Getting a glass of water. What are you doing here? You’re meant to be at the conference.”
“I was, but I, uh, got a call from work. That’s why Adam’s here. No other reason.”
Adam shook his head at me like he couldn’t fucking believe he was secretly dating someone so ridiculous. I couldn’t believe he was either, to be honest. I wondered how long it would take for me to blow it completely.
“Oh, OK.” She retrieved a glass from the cupboard and filled it, then said goodnight and walked back to her room.
“Why don’t you just tell your friends?” Adam asked. “This is ludicrous.”
“What part of them stabbing me for betraying James do you not understand?”
“James has Autumn. He’ll be fine.”
My eyes widened. How much did Adam know about Autumn? “Why do you mean by that? Are they a thing? He told me they weren’t a thing.”
“They aren’t a thing the same way we weren’t a thing two weeks ago. Just tell everyone you and James broke up secretly six months ago. It’s basically the truth anyway, and then neither of you will need to worry about what people think.”
I considered that for a second. “I’ll run it by James and see what he thinks. But don’t you not want people to know about us? I can’t imagine your dad is going to be thrilled.”
Adam shrugged. “You introduced him to his new favourite pair of sandals. I don’t know if he’d have a problem with it.”
“You’re not concerned he’d fire you anyway?”
He exhaled. “Yeah, he probably would. And Dona would be seriously unimpressed with me.”
“I think that would be worse than being fired.” I frowned, concerned. “Do you think she’d be disappointed in me as well?”
“You reckon your dad would fire you?” Topher asked disbelievingly.
“I’m not meant to date employees.”
Topher shook his head. “I think the two of you are being overly optimistic in assuming that he doesn’t already know.”
I frowned. “What do you mean?”
“Seriously? You’re not subtle. At all. Even slightly. It’s disgusting.”
“Harry doesn’t know,” I snapped.
Topher shook his head. “Sure, whatever.”
Four plates of snacks and a second power nap later, I finally had enough energy to climb the stairs once more, so me and my four bedmates made the arduous trek. Adam was the only one of us who didn’t seem to be falling asleep, so he brought up the rear in case me or any of the pigs fell asleep on the way and needed someone to catch us.
We eventually made it to my room and I slithered up the bed, collapsing when my head hit the pillow. The pigs piled in next.
“You weren’t joking about them not letting us touch.”
My eyes were shut, but I could feel three tails (also known as pig bums) pressed up against my side, so I had a pretty good idea of where my girls were. “Nope. Not that the buffer even matters anymore, because I’m officially too tired to get naked with you. It’s many, many hours past my bedtime.”
“Yeah, it’s getting closer to our usual wake up time.” He thought for a moment. “So even if I told you I was taking off my shirt, you wouldn’t be interested?”
“Nice try, but there’s not even any rustling.”
He laughed softly. After the sound of a zip and some light rustling, the mattress shifted as he climbed into bed. My pulse barely picked up at the thought of him unzipping his pants. I was officially beyond sleepy.
“Good night, Charlotte Regina.”
“Night, babe.”
He was silent for a second, then… “I think Dave might be licking me.”
“Yeah, she does that.”
Not that I could blame her. Adam was tasty. I was tempted to give him a lick in the dark myself.
But I mostly kept my tongue to myself that night.
Copyright © 2021 by Clare Kauter
All rights reserved.