Standard reminder that you shouldn’t read Date Night unless you’ve finished Breaking News or you’re going to get smacked in the face with spoilers.
Table of Contents:
- Frustrated
- Very Educational
- Dingle
- Pinecone
- Genetic Material
- Sex Energy
- Thinking Out Loud
- Damp Is Sexy
- Evidence Of Vampirism
- Snackster
- A Lick In The Dark
- Armpit
- Stay Vigilant
- No Sense of Shame (FINAL CHAPTER)
CHAPTER THIRTEEN: Stay Vigilant
The four of us arrived at the conference only about half an hour late for the first session. We hadn’t slept in as late as I’d thought – barely past eight. Working at Baxter & Co. had broken me. Once upon a time, a sleep-in for me meant waking up just in time for dinner.
Ted was up on stage giving a presentation that according to the program was titled It’s Not Him, It’s You so I guess that was the ultimate confirmation we needed that Paulette hadn’t killed him, although if he continued with his current speech that may not be the case for too long.
We shuffled awkwardly into some seats up the back, yawning and nursing Dungeons & Dinos mugs of coffee. Yes, even me, although mine was more like liquid sugar that had had a coffee bean dipped in it for a second. Just the way I liked it.
We still didn’t actually have a plan for taking these people down. It would have been easier if Ted was the one cheating since I hated him so much more. I mean, obviously they were both scammers, but he was the one telling all the women in the room to ‘stop being such crazy B-words’ and love our men ‘the way they needed’. Gag. It was no wonder Paulette wanted to get away from him. I had no plans of ever stopping being such a crazy B-word.
Speaking of Paulette, I frowned as I scanned the room, unable to see her anywhere. My eyes widened as I wondered if maybe Ted had found out about the affair and murdered her. Then I wondered if I was being overly dramatic and concluded that yes, I probably was, and the fact that Paulette wasn’t visible at this exact second didn’t necessarily mean she was lying in a pool of her own blood somewhere. Although I wouldn’t have minded checking the laundry room again, just in case.
“She’s not dead,” Adam said quietly in my ear. “Calm down.”
My eyes widened. “I knew you could read minds!” I hissed back.
“No. I just know that you’re always thinking about murder.”
I paused for a second. “It’s a bit worrying when you put it like that.”
“As long as you’re not making any plans.”
“Nah. I’m more into the crime-of-passion thing.”
He smirked, then glanced over my shoulder and nodded. “You can relax. Paulette’s definitely still alive.”
I turned and saw that Paulette had entered the room. She was standing in the middle aisle between the rows of plastic chairs, hands on hips, and she looked… different.
Actually, she looked PISSED.
“I object!” she screamed like I’ve always wanted to do at a wedding.
I wasn’t a hundred percent sure what she objecting to unless it was Ted’s entire existence, in which case I was totally on board.
Ted stopped talking at us, brow furrowing as he stared at his wife in confusion. “Paulette, what do you think you’re –”
“I have an audiovisual presentation that everyone here needs to watch.”
Ted folded his arms, a muscle in his jaw twitching as he tried to swallow his anger down. It was a look I recognised well from every video I’d watched of the two of them in which Paulette spoke. He was furious that she’d stolen the spotlight.
He had no idea how furious he was about to get.
“Darling, your session isn’t for another forty minutes,” he said in a strained voice, the kind an evil person has when they’re trying to seem like they’re not imagining ripping out your throat. “I’m in the middle of my presentation. Perhaps you need to listen to this one yourself as a little reminder.” He forced a laugh, but no one in the audience joined him. It was an obvious not-really-a-joke joke.
Paulette stalked forwards, reaching into her pocket.
“She’s got a gun!” I whispered.
“It’s a flash drive, Charlie,” said Adam. He looked at the drink I was gripping slightly too hard. “Maybe it’s a good thing that you usually avoid caffeine.”
I looked at Paulette’s hand again. Yep, that was a flash drive. “It’s not the coffee. It’s the fact that usually when someone around me reaches into their pocket, they’re going for a weapon.”
He nodded. “It’s probably best if you stay vigilant given how often that happens.”
“Paulette,” Ted said sternly. “This isn’t funny.”
“I know. That’s why no one’s laughing,” she replied. She reached the edge of the stage and did the same sort of thing I do when I try to get out of a pool. Hands on the edge, bum on ledge – except then you don’t have the muscle to get to the ledge so you slip back down and try going face first. She attempted to get a leg over, only managing to kind of get her knee up, then slid on her belly as she clawed with her free hand (the other one was still clutching her not-gun) and eventually managed to make it.
She stood and dusted herself off with more dignity than you’d think, then walked to the podium and shouldered her husband out of the way. I couldn’t really see what she was doing, but I gathered she was plugging the drive in. She opened a folder and it came up on the screen behind her as Ted watched her, slack-jawed at the fact that she was ignoring him.
There was only one thing in the folder.
A video file.
When she hit play, I can confidently say that what appeared on the screen was the literal last thing I’d expected to see.
Oh. My. God.
Gross.
Adam raised his eyebrows. “I take back what I said about them being scammers. Maybe this conference was worth the price of the tickets after all.”
Copyright © 2021 by Clare Kauter
All rights reserved.